I’m just a woman…
…who’s dreamed of more and while I have always appeared to take risks, being accepted and fear of rejection drove many of my decisions in life. After being laid off twice I decided to ditch the “American Dream”; it may have been the American Dream but it wasn’t my dream. I sold the house, got rid of half our things and put the rest in storage and decided to go after the life I’ve always desired. Location independence and freedom of time to explore the world with my son.
The thing is, it terrified me to take every step forward in making it happen. So much so that I sought out a therapist to talk through why I wasn’t buying the plane tickets even though I desperately wanted to. The more steps I took the more people would tell me how exciting my plans are and how fearless I am for doing it. They’d say how brave I am and how they wish they were brave enough to do such a thing.
What they don’t know is the fear that has encompassed every step, the loneliness in friends drifting away because they don’t get what I’m doing, the line I totter between staying in what’s comfortable and daring myself to grab the life I want.
This isn’t new to me. In my 20s my life was taken over by fear. I made daily decisions based on my fears. I knew it had gotten to be too much when I decided not to spend New Year’s Eve with family across town for fear of getting hit by a drunk driver on the way home..mind you I had no logical reason to believe this would happen. Anxiety had officially dominated my life.
I did the work, the hard work, to kick anxiety to the back burner but you know what? It doesn’t dominate me anymore but it’s always there and sometimes when I dare to do something so out of the norm or something that pushes my comfort zone to an extreme anxiety tries to creep back in. I want you to know you can pursue your dream life even through the fears and anxiety and I know because I’m doing it!
Come along with us as my son and I break out of society’s box and face our fears daily to grab onto a life we know is out there. A life we dare to live if we only take one step at a time. I won’t deny my fears on this journey. In fact, I hope to embrace them; to add them to my journey as pushing them away only makes them stronger. So we’ll see, only time and travels will tell. Thank you for coming along for the ride.
Is a bubbly 11 year old enjoys our adventures and exploring new places and things. He has completely embraced homeschool and loves the freedom and flexibility it gives him to learn in a way that is best for him while allowing us to move around. He enjoys learning new languages, visiting amusement parks and filming videos to share our experiences with others!